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  • Sittser: Water from a Deep Well: Christian Spirituality from Early Martyrs to Modern Missionaries

    Sittser: Water from a Deep Well: Christian Spirituality from Early Martyrs to Modern Missionaries

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    Sheff: Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Meth Addiction

  • Buechner: The Sacred Journey: A Memoir of Early Days

    Buechner: The Sacred Journey: A Memoir of Early Days

Blog Vulnerability: I scream into my pillow.

Pillow I'm a mature 28 year-old heterosexual man, in touch with my emotions, trained and somewhat skillful in non-violent communication.  I'm not very aggressive.  I don't scream at people.  I like to communicate and express myself.  Nevertheless, sometimes a man has to scream into his pillow.  (Not cry into his pillow, mind you.) I have three pillows upon my bed.  Two king-size down pillows, and one regular-size foam pillow. 

Somewhere along the way, perhaps in middle school, I was told that screaming into one's pillow can be helpful when frustrated, as a last resort, for a few reasons.  1. Because its quieter.  2. Because it is a good release as a last resort.  3. Because it will make you feel really stupid afterwords, and just put everything into perspective.  I only pull out the pillow scream once or twice a year.

Now, before performing the scream, I made some other healthy decisions: I talked with some friends, prayed, tried to figure out a solution to the problem, even journaled about the situation.  Those were all helpful, but indeed, as a last resort, I needed the scream. 

How to properly scream into one's pillow: 1. Find something to vent about.  2. Throw yourself across your bed (or if you are like me and have a taller bed, throw your upper body upon your bed, feet firmly planted on the ground).  3. Find an appropriate pillow.  4. Apply pillow to face, preferably with arms beneath the pillow to provide a good foundation for a scream.  5.  Scream your little lungs out.  6. Laugh at yourself, gain perspective.  7. Repeat as necessary.

You're probably asking why I needed the scream...

Continue reading "Blog Vulnerability: I scream into my pillow." »

January 10, 2007 at 09:17 AM in Blog Vulnerability, Current Affairs, You know what hurts? | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Love Needs That.

"I believe that God forgives me.  I do not doubt that.  The matter between God and me is closed.  But what about the matter between Eric and me?  For my regrets remain.  What do I do with my God-forgiven regrets?  Maybe some of what I regret doesn't even need forgiving; maybe sometimes I did as well as I could.  Full love isn't always possible in this fallen world of ours.  Still, I regret.

I shall live with them.  I shall accept my regrets as part of my life, to be numbered among my self-inflicted wounds.  But I will not endlessly gaze at them. I shall allow the memories to prod me into doing better with those still living.  And I shall allow them to sharpen the vision and intensify the hope for that Great Day coming when we can all throw ourselves into each other's arms and say, 'I'm sorry.'

The love of God will surely grant us such a day.  Love needs that."
                                                        :: Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son, 65.

March 25, 2006 at 12:06 PM in Books, Faith, You know what hurts? | Permalink | Comments (3)

You know what hurts?

:: My back.  (From sitting hunched over in a desk in Stuart 6, taking the full 3 hours to complete the Hebrew exam.)
:: Wrist cracking.  (Somehow it's become my new pastime while waiting for inspiration.  Is it bad that they are really sore now?)
:: The smell of some sort of shrimp concoction being cooked in our communal kitchen.  (Lingers for daaays.)

Well how about that?!  Two fitting songs have recently played on my iPod.  "Everybody Hurts" by REM & "Cry Me a River" by (I refuse to put his name here.)

(Ok.  Study break over.)

January 09, 2006 at 07:33 PM in You know what hurts? | Permalink | Comments (3)

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